Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Some Thoughts on the New Year

In the past five days, I’ve read approximately 1 million posts on “2016 Goals” and articles about “How to Keep Your 2016 Goals.” I don’t have anything groundbreaking to add to the mix, except to say that I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I unabashedly love thinking of the old year as the new one hits and I do like coming up with things that—whether you want to call them goals or resolutions or intentions—I want to focus on, or at least keep in mind, for the coming year.

So here goes that.

2015 was a year of transition. Transition into motherhood, mostly, and with that came a steep learning curve.

I think when I first imagined having a baby, I thought mostly of the baby part. The coming home, the no sleeping, the rocking, the singing, the feeding, the changing. But I didn’t think much of the ‘me as a parent’ part. Sure, I figured my priorities would be different, that my body would probably look different. But I didn’t realize that I just wouldn’t feel like myself—that it would take months to feel like me again. And maybe that’s the part that people forget, or the part that they don’t tell you, or maybe it’s just the part that you don’t realize until you’re knee-deep in it.

But either way, the beginning of the year felt like that. It was all quiet and slow—words that don’t exactly describe newborn life in any way, but in which I just mean that I was taking it slower, I was being quieter. I was home and when I wasn’t working, I was home, home, home. And that was all I wanted. I never understood the phrase “hole up somewhere” until February of last year.

By the spring, and my brother’s wedding, I did start to feel like myself again. And when summer rolled around, this new life felt like it fit in the best way possible. We lived deliberately over the summer, going on walks in the late afternoon and after dinner and on Sunday mornings. Taking days off to go to the zoo and spending a week at the beach.

In the fall, things got faster, with my sister-in-law’s wedding and lots of family in town, Luca’s birthday and then everything that comes with December. The everyday things felt more doable and I started feeling more sure of myself again. I understood more of the things that I needed and I didn’t feel so guilty needing them.  

In 2015, I listened to so many stories of how people chose what they chose, ended up where they did. I loved every single one. The longevity of things didn’t get lost on me—the learning curve that everyone goes through. And I started to see things as a whole, ever so slightly. These were all good things.

So where does that leave me for 2016? I think, mostly, less afraid of the learning curve. Less afraid to see things as a whole. Less afraid to look at how things are and figure out how I want them to be.

Some of the other things I want to do this year:
  • Write more. So much more.
  • Run three 5K’s, with John
  • Stick to a regular workout schedule
  • Go to the beach as much as possible
  • Travel to the west coast
  • Renovate the bathroom
  • Take more (and better) photos
  • Put all those photos in albums/photo books
  • Give myself, and those around me, the grace to be the people we need to be

No comments:

Post a Comment