Taking Stock

The holidays are over and so far this week I’ve gone to the gym twice, made spaghetti squash for dinner and this is my second—read it, second!—post of the week. I think I’m doing well with those good ole resolutions, no?

Anyway, I already took stock of the old year, so here’s a look at the right now:

Cooking: This Mediterranean chicken. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great either, honestly. I left out the artichokes, since I didn’t have them, so maybe that would have made a difference?

Drinking: Peppermint tea. Just because the holidays are over doesn’t mean everything has to go with it.

Reading: All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Making: Actual use of my planner. It’s only a week, so I’m pretty sure I’m getting ahead of myself on this one, but it’s better than the usual 3 days I stick it out every other year.

Wanting: A nap

Looking: Up flights to Nashville and New Orleans. We have no plans to go to either of these places as of right now, but you know, why not.

Deciding: To start an Instagram account for this site. Follow here!

Wondering: What it’s going to be like to fly with a 15-month old. Last time Luca was on an airplane he was 5 months old and basically slept and ate the entire time. We’re headed to St. Thomas in a few weeks and I’m pretty sure this time is going to be a totally different story.

Questioning: Everything, as usual.

Wishing: Someone would come over and take down and then individually wrap all these Christmas ornaments so I don’t have to   

Enjoying: Learning to use my new camera. Here's to taking lots more non-iphone pics in 2016. 

Considering: New tiles for this bathroom renovation

Watching: Parks and Rec. We’re on season 3 right now and I know I’m way way way late to the party on this one, but man it’s so good.

Hoping: That my best friend has the easiest delivery ever—baby Kiki is due in just a couple weeks!

Smelling: Clean laundry

Wearing: The exact same thing I was wearing last month

Knowing: That even baby steps matter

Thinking: About what one wears to a Knicks game. Sneakers? Boots? A t-shirt? Is it weird that I’m even thinking about it?

Admiring: People who give off positive vibes. Those people that you’re just drawn to, and you’re not really sure why. Those are the best kinds of people.

Loving: How much Luca is understanding these days. Do you want milk? Can you bring me your Peppa Pig book? Where’s your sippy cup? He totally understands all of it and seriously, this whole kid thing just keeps getting better and better.

Getting: (Got?) My hair cut, finally. Growing out a pixie cut is NO JOKE. It’s the worst, actually, but this new cut makes me feel like a person again.

Sorting: Through photos, in hopes that it’ll inspire me to actually make a photo book. Yea right.

Snacking: On pistachios. Look how many you can have!

Bookmarking: This article on why moms feel they need to be perfect. While I haven’t had to deal with the homemade costume pressure per say, so much of it rings true in terms of what we feel we “should” be doing versus what we actually want to do. 

Feeling: Like I can do this.

[photo via unsplash] 

Some Thoughts on the New Year

In the past five days, I’ve read approximately 1 million posts on “2016 Goals” and articles about “How to Keep Your 2016 Goals.” I don’t have anything groundbreaking to add to the mix, except to say that I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I unabashedly love thinking of the old year as the new one hits and I do like coming up with things that—whether you want to call them goals or resolutions or intentions—I want to focus on, or at least keep in mind, for the coming year.

So here goes that.

2015 was a year of transition. Transition into motherhood, mostly, and with that came a steep learning curve.

I think when I first imagined having a baby, I thought mostly of the baby part. The coming home, the no sleeping, the rocking, the singing, the feeding, the changing. But I didn’t think much of the ‘me as a parent’ part. Sure, I figured my priorities would be different, that my body would probably look different. But I didn’t realize that I just wouldn’t feel like myself—that it would take months to feel like me again. And maybe that’s the part that people forget, or the part that they don’t tell you, or maybe it’s just the part that you don’t realize until you’re knee-deep in it.

But either way, the beginning of the year felt like that. It was all quiet and slow—words that don’t exactly describe newborn life in any way, but in which I just mean that I was taking it slower, I was being quieter. I was home and when I wasn’t working, I was home, home, home. And that was all I wanted. I never understood the phrase “hole up somewhere” until February of last year.

By the spring, and my brother’s wedding, I did start to feel like myself again. And when summer rolled around, this new life felt like it fit in the best way possible. We lived deliberately over the summer, going on walks in the late afternoon and after dinner and on Sunday mornings. Taking days off to go to the zoo and spending a week at the beach.

In the fall, things got faster, with my sister-in-law’s wedding and lots of family in town, Luca’s birthday and then everything that comes with December. The everyday things felt more doable and I started feeling more sure of myself again. I understood more of the things that I needed and I didn’t feel so guilty needing them.  

In 2015, I listened to so many stories of how people chose what they chose, ended up where they did. I loved every single one. The longevity of things didn’t get lost on me—the learning curve that everyone goes through. And I started to see things as a whole, ever so slightly. These were all good things.

So where does that leave me for 2016? I think, mostly, less afraid of the learning curve. Less afraid to see things as a whole. Less afraid to look at how things are and figure out how I want them to be.

Some of the other things I want to do this year:

• Write more. So much more.
• Run three 5K’s, with John
• Stick to a regular workout schedule
• Go to the beach as much as possible
• Travel to the west coast
• Renovate the bathroom
• Take more (and better) photos
• Put all those photos in albums/photo books
• Give myself, and those around me, the grace to be the people we need to be

Interesting and Inspiring

It’s been a good post-Thanksgiving week, or at least, it was until I got sick. Tis the season, as they say. But let’s hope it doesn’t get any worse then it is right now and maybe we can actually get our tree this weekend? Anyway, here are a few things I’ve been reading this week:

Books + baby onesies are a match made in gift-giving heaven.

Speaking of books, here are some more gift ideas. I've put together gift guides for a couple of the magazines I've worked for and my favorite part is coming up with the categories. From this one: “For the psych major who didn’t just choose it as a default” and “For your nephew who prides himself in his nonchalant attitude toward spiders" (Link via The Fitnessista) 

Short and sweet parenting advice.  I love these two:

Pay attention, but not too much.

—Judy

Today’s crisis is tomorrow’s funny story.

—Jen

If you’re looking for a documentary to watch on Netflix this weekend, this is it. I found myself smiling like an idiot so many times. It’s such a great story and really, just so sweet.

Local link: We went out in search of bagels Sunday morning and everywhere we went was packed. We wound up at The Kneaded Bread, which doesn’t have bagels but does have amazing croissants though. Next time, I’m using this bagel-finding list.

I love a good #TBT, especially when it involves a flashback to bangs.

For the past 6 years, we’ve gotten together with our siblings and cousins a couple weeks before Christmas to watch Love Actually. These might be a good addition to the party. 

Luca is going to be way sad if this banana prediction actually comes true.

[photo via unsplash] 

Taking Stock

It’s December 1! I’m not doing monthly Luca updates anymore, but I still want a place where I can record what I’m thinking/doing/wanting to do, as a way to remember the small, everyday things. 

I’ve read these Taking Stock posts in a few different places, but mostly here. And after going backwards a bit, including Bridget’s first of these posts, it looks like it started here, which is where I pulled this list. 

Anyway, on to the post:

Making: lists and lists of holiday-related things. What to buy, what to do, what to make.

Cooking: These enchiladas, for Slow Cooker Tuesday. Usually I hate anything with the word “skinny” in the title, because, I mean, is that really necessary?, but these were really good. And so, so easy.

Drinking: Water. I bought a 32oz water bottle that I fill up before and after lunch and it has made a world of difference. I swear drinking that much water makes me a nicer person.

Reading: Just Kids, by Patti Smith

Wanting:  A new camera.

Looking: Up vacation ideas for a beach trip in January

Deciding: What to get everyone for Christmas. It’s not going that well.

Wondering: When we’re going to take a photo for our holiday card. 

Questioning: Whether to sign Luca up for a music class for the winter

Wishing: I could stop falling asleep on the couch and just go to bed like a normal person.

Enjoying: Smoothies in the morning. I never thought I’d actually be able to pull it off, but using all frozen fruits and vegetables has made it way easier. This podcast was the original inspiration.

Considering: Nursery schools for Luca in September. We have one more tour tomorrow and then it’s decision time.  

Watching: The Mindy Project, as usual on Tuesdays. I’m not so into where they’re going with Danny’s character, but I really appreciate the working mother storyline and, in particular, the push and pull that so many couples feel.

Hoping: For lots of trips in 2016.

Smelling: This awesome apple-scented candle. We never light candles, but this one is worth it.

Wearing: Sweatpants + sweatshirt + blanket. And it will be this until approximately April 2016. 

Knowing: That even if I make Christmas lists now, it’ll be another couple weeks before I actually get anything done.

Thinking: About ideas and goals for next year.

Admiring: Our new rug, which we got in the Home Depot parking lot. Seriously, we did, but it was $289 for an 8x10 area rug and even though I was convinced the color wouldn’t work, it totally does.

Loving: How much Luca is learning. He makes lion sounds and horse sounds and says ‘cat’ and ‘dog,’ even though those sound like ‘caa’ and ‘daa’

Getting: Excited for our 6^th annual Love Actually party

Sorting: Through the photos by brother took at Luca’s birthday party. I love them all, but want to narrow down the best for an album

Snacking: On pistachios. It’s been years and years since I had any and man, I forgot how good they are.

Bookmarking: (Can this be Pinterest-ing?) Bathroom photos, for our next major house project.

Feeling: Good. Overall, really good. I don’t feel as overwhelmed or holding-it-together-by a string-ish in this moment. Thanksgiving break felt like an actual break, where I got see lots of friends and family and relax in the middle of it all.

photo credit: This makes me all gooey via photopin (license)

Interesting and Inspiring

Happy Friday! I'm tweaking whether I want to post this on Thursday's or Friday's (like the rest of the world), so we'll see. For now, here are the interesting and inspiring things that have been on my radar this week: 

I love this inspiring read on how to do what you love. Especially: "A very wise friend recently pointed out that 'no one will notice you’ve gained five pounds unless you go out of your way to tell them'–and I think that holds true for just about everything." 

There was such power in the image of the Eiffel Tower peace sign that was being shared after the Paris attacks. This is the story behind it. 

This piece, written by a mother who's 3-month-old baby passed away on his first day of daycare, is heartbreaking. Now they've looking to fight for longer parental leave—and that is a cause I can 100 percent get behind. 

Let's hear it for even more pregnancy-approved yoga moves. 

Local link: If you're looking for a new restaurant, this quiz by IntoxiKate will help. (What a great idea for an article!) 

My travel guru sister-in-law was interviewed by the Associated Press about her traveling must-haves. And now I need to get to White House Black Market ASAP and buy one of those dresses. 

Truth. 

This week Slow Cooker Tuesday—wherein I finally get my act together and use the crockpot to make dinner—featured a super easy turkey chili that was Luca-approved.  

This is a fantastic idea for a website and I fully intend to pull it out next time John and I spend an indecisive night scrolling through Hulu. 

Anyone else want to move to Augusta, Georgia with me? 

photo via pretty designs

9 Things I Learned in My First Year of Motherhood—That Are True at Any Stage of Life

It’s been a year of this parenting gig. Officially now.

In some ways, it feels like Luca has always been here. That we’ve always been washing bottles and reading board books and buckling and unbuckling the car seat.

But sometimes it feels like this all started last week, maybe just a couple days ago. There are times when I look at him and think: I’m actually entrusted with making sure you turn into a functional, capable human and that you are also caring and kind and know how to do your own laundry.

I’ve heard so much about the first year of motherhood. How it’s tiring and it’s trying and it goes by fast. So, so fast. That you’ll never be happier, but also, just wait, because it only gets harder from here. How to balance work and how to balance housework and how to balance your relationship.

Some of that advice I’ve internalized and some, like everything else, I’ve had to just experience for myself. But when I started looking back on this past year, I realized that so many of the things that I did learn—or at least, have tried to learn—are just good things to remember for life, whether it’s in the parenting context or not.

Here’s what I want to remember:

No one is exactly where you are—and that’s ok. 

My biggest wish, when I was going back to work or when I couldn’t deal with all the dishes in the sink or the unmade bed or all the things and goals and thoughts, was that there was someone I could look at—someone who was in the exact same place as me—and just do exactly what she had done. I wanted someone to hand me a very specific outline of what worked for her and I wanted to follow it step by step—from her career choices to what color she painted her kitchen. But the truth is, no one’s day-to-day life looks the same. And even though I know this, inherently, it was only in taking a step back and realizing that other people’s decisions can’t be mine, did I start to gain some perspective. What does Amy Poehler say? “Good for her! Not for me.” 

Slowing down can be a good thing. 

The whole winter after Luca was born was an exercise in slower living. We weren’t running from this to that or making plans that filled up entire weekends. Truthfully, a trip to Target was basically the best thing ever—which is not how I’ve always been. Things have definitely picked up since then, sometimes too much even, but there are times when I’m sitting on the living room floor on a Sunday morning and remind myself that if all the grand plans for the day aren’t met, the world won’t come to stand still.

Get in on the group chat. 

Because who else can you message at 3 a.m. after a breastfeeding breakdown—and actually get an answer? Or exchange 867 photos with—and know they’re actually being looked at? The group chat kept me sane and made me feel less alone and was a way to stay connected to people who knew me when I was a 14 year old with a questionable blonde streak in her hair.

You’re still you, no matter what. 

I danced in a small-town bar until 2am. I sat on the beach at midnight eating smores around a bonfire. I had drinks on a rooftop in the middle of the summer. I went to kickboxing and read books in the backyard and hung out with my husband. It’s so easy to get swept up in all the new-ness, in all the must-do’s and have-to’s and the guilt, the ridiculous amounts of guilt. Sometimes it’s good to go back to the basics and back to the beginning. To do the things that make you, you.     

Guilt is almost never, ever worth it. 

Speaking of the ridiculous amounts of guilt, it was there in spades this first year. Whether it’s about going to work or not making organic purees from scratch or letting your kid your sleep in your bed cause you’re just so tired, everything you ever read or see or happen to overhear in an elevator somewhere will make you feel like your decisions are wrong, wrong, wrong. Whatever. Life isn’t static and, wait, what was that first point about ‘no one being where you are,’ again?   

Everything is a phase. 

This applies equally to baby-related things and life-related things. The guilt I felt over not making my own purees was huge. Huge. And seriously, he ate purees for like, 2 whole months before deciding he’d much rather eat real food, teeth or no teeth. If I had known how short a period of time it was going to be, I definitely wouldn’t have stressed about it so much. Same goes for just general life things. I can get so myopic and think things are always going to be one way forever and ever that I forget that really, it’s pretty much the opposite.

Accept help. 

That whole ‘it takes a village’ advice? So so so true. I cannot express the amount of true-ness in it. I’ve always been surrounded by lots of family, so the idea that people help each other out was nothing new. But I know not everyone feels this way. And oh how short sighted that is. Our parents, our siblings, our extended family, our friends—they were there for us this year in such a monumental way. I am more thankful for this than I could ever wrap my head around.  

Write it down. 

Even if it’s just on a scrap of paper that you stick in a notebook somewhere and don’t find for five or six years. Even if it’s just a note on your phone or a caption on Instagram. It doesn’t have to be some scrapbooked piece of art that you frame and hang over your bed, it just has to be somewhere. 

Trust your gut. 

I’m going to get this tattooed somewhere super visible and make myself read it, mantra-style, every morning. It’s the tried and true lesson. When all the anxiety and the worry and the fear is taken away, it’s just that feeling. Always. Listen. To. That. Feeling.

And that was just the first year. I wonder what year two will have in store.

What did you learn your first year of parenthood? What are the life lessons you stick to no matter what?